Does anyone remember Ricky Tuftyhead?

Following the line of Nostalgia that I've been having this Sem-Break I've been thinking lately about the Ghosts in my life--shadows, that through fear and fascination, I have learned to embrace and love. I've been thinking a lot about them lately because I've been finding myself wanting to feel the feelings they made me feel: like fading sunsets, foggy mornings and a Sunday Jazz tunes. They are all memories now.

Memories are a poor replacement for reality, for truth and for life. They are clipped around the corners and they slowly gray in the center, until all the vividness of color slowly becomes a mere vision in black and white. The moments are already gone. And soon, memories will too.

::♥::

I want to go back to that Summer time, when I would lie beside the Stereo, play Papa's CDs and feel the floor vibrating beneath, matching the rhythm in me. When I needed solitude, I will retreat inside my room and read my Harry Potter books (the series was still only up to Book 4 then) until my imagination was boiling and ready to let-off steam (which happens in the form of me sitting in a corner and imagining what it would be like if I was in Hogwarts, instead) like a coffee on a percolator. In the afternoons, I would sit outside on the porch and write on my notebooks about my thoughts, my feelings and things that I imagine and desperately wish were real.

My 12-year old self could swear that this was all the future that I could ever need.

But the days do fly by quickly and in a matter of moments we say good-bye. I had to grow-up and had to brave this circus. And though I wish everyday could be like this and I could breathe that green and minty morning smell again, it cannot be. But I never stop believing that those days will meet me again.

::♥::

And yes days do fly by quickly. I haven't even begun to breathe and the air is about to change again--this time charged, this time suffused with a number of nameless elements.

See you soon Summer/Fall days.

LISTENING TO: Put your records on, Corinne Bailey Rae
READING:Rage of Angels, Sidney Sheldon

To burn with a soul-fire.

I am, admittedly, one of the many who marvel at geniuses, their works and their brains. It's hard not to be struck by the sheer brilliance of their creativity and how this has made them into the idols that we hang on our walls and worship with our every fiber. It is also hard to resist the temptation of prying into their personal lives--if only to understand how they came to be. Thus, I confess that I do get envious of geniuses because they were able to dedicate themselves to one thing and nourish it until they can no longer.

Awhile ago, while I was watching 'This Is It' (which was absolute love and sheer brilliance--at least Michael Jackson was. But then again when was he not love and brilliance at the same time?) when it occurred to me that I am a 'Jill-Of-All-Trades and a Mistress of None. The realization brought about such a weird mixture of satisfaction and displeasure. I am satisfied that I've tasted the many flavors of life but I am displeased that I have not developed a palate for any one of them. I envy Michael Jackson as he sang and danced, because he found something that can keep him for the rest of his life. Yes, keep him--keep him going, keep him happy, keep him alive.

I want to burn with an eternal fire!:-D Is it too much to dream of or to hope for, hmm?

There's too many questions and ambitions brewing in my head right now to a clear view of the path I want to take. I think that for the meantime, I might enjoy the ride. For now, dreams keep me preoccupied. The mastery will come later, when I'm ready and learned.

::♥::

I am thinking and talking too much again. Eep.



LISTENING TO: Michael Jackson (Obligatory Nostalgia)
READING: Big Ben's tweets

I never want this kind of peace to end

There's something oddly sweet in hearing the rain fall while you're far away dreaming. It feels like the thirst of a thousand souls quenched or poetry in a hazy morning or the first kiss of the dew to the budding flower. It feels just like forever.

It hasn't been this good in a very long time and it's speaking volumes to me... like echoes under the sea.







Good night, goodnight. Gone in the arms of momentary serenity



LISTENING TO: The Sound Of Rain

Notes from the BluePrint

In the many crazy things that I say here, have I mentioned that we are going to be re-modelling Mr.House?:-)

It is possibly the best announcement I've received recently. For years, I've been wanting to have a room that I can design and really just own, and finally it is happening. I am very excited to say the least. I've been spending all my free time (because I am back in school Stage Managing for Tanghalang Ateneo's new production--which you will watch whoever you are) watching HGTV Network shows and absorbing all the house interior designing tips and tricks that top interior designers dish out while trying to incorporate it in the design I have in my head.

Here are the things that I've been thinking of adding to my room:

I have long ago decided that the color of my walls would be blue, although I have not got the exact shade down. Thankfully last night, inspiration struck as I was watching Sex And The City (The Movie). Thankfully too, that the 'Rents were watching along with me and they agree. Usually, wall-colors are the hardest to decide on but I am completely and utterly sure that I won't be changing anytime soon.

I saw this on a Tumblr post and I immeadiately fell-in-love with it. It combines my penchant for the novelty of Polaroids and the idea of having a piece of my loved ones in the room. This will probably go on the wall beside my bed so that it is directly upon entrance to my room. Now all I need is to know where can I borrow a working Polaroid camera now, hmm?



This seems pretty nifty for a sentimental person like me. I'd have this hang on my walls someday...probably when I have enough moolah in my pocket.



I love books and I absolutely love reading (well fiction more than non-fiction), so I believe that it is only right that I should have a mini-library in my room. If Carrie Bradshaw will abandon an apartment because her clothes and shoes will not fit, I will not accept my room if it cannot house even a single shelf for my book storage.


The Moon In My Room, should be there. And I do mean should, and not could. If there is one thing that cannot be missing in my room it should be it, or the room will feel soul-less (obviously, I am exaggerating because it is my room, therefore I am the soul of my room. I just needed to emphasize the need to have it in my room). So please, please, please be kind and make this little girl happy. You have Christmas and April 5. This is not subtle hinting.

It seems that we are de-constructing more than we are re-constructing, as everything is becoming more and more different--more changed, more evolved. I can't wait when everything finally comes to place.:-)





LISTENING TO: New Perspective, Panic!At The Disco
READING: Rage Of Angels, Sidney Sheldon

4 years and a hundred haircuts later

You still have me.


::♥::


So I didn't go home again last night, what happened?

An amazing night did, actually. I went out with my girls again after a long, long time of not seeing them and...surprise, surprise! We are all complete! Only my Azteegs could ever make me feel as giddy as a school girl.

BTW, after playing many rounds of Poker (can be considered as drunken poker actually) I have realized that my Arian lucky streak is failing me and that I cannot possibly keep a Poker face.

Back to sleep now. ZZZ.

P.S. I love you forever girls. After four years, let's go forever.:-}


LISTENING TO: It's Amazing, Jem
READING: Tumblr Posts